Occasionally, one gets trapped in a novel.

Hello, readers! Here’s a small, silly thing I wrote: How To Tell You’re In A Patricia Highsmith Novel.
It’s a tricky thing, ending up in such a grim literary world. You’ve got to know how to spot these things before anyone invites you out on their boat. How do you know when you’ve gotten trapped in a novel?

1) You have committed a murder and consequently obtained everything you ever wanted.
2) You have committed a murder and consequently lost everything good you ever had.
3) You love art. You’d do anything for art. Anything.
4) Your housekeeper is comically French and unusually discreet.
5) Your wife is charmingly French and not overly inquisitive.
6) The gossip surrounding your name is horribly, horribly true.
7) Your letters, diaries and legal documents are nothing but lies.
8) There is a man. You wish you were more like him. Soon, he will be dead.
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